Male Bonding
by strayphoenix
Summary: “Wanna hang out? Since our girlfriends are off saving the world and all” “Hang out?” Caleb stared at Matt as if he’d just suggested playing ‘chicken’ in front of a charging rhino. Not slash.


_**Male Bonding**_

"So, want to do something?" Matt asked sitting in a chair across the room from Caleb in the Silver Dragon.

Caleb looked up from the book he was reading. "What, like train?"

"No, I meant like hang out. Since our girlfriends are off saving the world and all and we don't have anything better to do"

"Hang out?" Caleb asked, staring at Matt as if he had just suggested they play 'chicken' in front of a charging rhinoceros.

"Yeah, you know, get to know each other since we're spending so much time together. I mean all I know about you is that you're a rebel leader and that you can totally kick my butt in hand-to-hand" Matt explained as he turned his chair around.

Caleb resumed his book but Matt could hear the smirk in is voice as he spoke. "Sorry, Matt, but I don't swing that way"

"Ew, you pervert, not like that" he responded making a face, "It's more like bonding"

"I thought only girls did that" Caleb said, not looking up from his book, "Trust me, I've seen enough of that first hand"

"Hey" Matt teased, "who knows the ropes of Earth, you or me?"

"Alright, Earth-Master. How do guys bond here?" he asked, finally looking up.

"The same way girls do except it's more violent" he explained with a joking smile.

Caleb resumed his book.

"C'mon, Caleb! My band is on vacation, I'm too tired to train, the girls might be in Meridian for hours and I'm bored out of my skull!" Matt cried out.

"Read" Caleb responded, monotonously. "Because even if I did want to go 'Male Bonding' with you, I'm working"

Matt looked around the deserted Silver Dragon and half expected a tumble weed to roll on by.

"You're being paid to read?"

"Theoretically, yes" Caleb responded.

"Well, can't you ask Yan Lin to…?" Matt began but cut himself off as he found he had a more pressing question. "What the heck are you reading, anyway?"

Caleb moved his hand so Matt could see the book title.

"You're a Harry Potter fan?" Matt asked, surprised.

"Cornelia says it was good so I rented the movies and now I'm reading the books" he explained from behind _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban._

"See? I didn't know that! That's why we should hang out" Matt reasoned.

Caleb was about to respond with something along the lines of 'What do you call this, Einstein?' when the bell hanging above the entrance rung and some boys came in.

"Hey Matt! Hey Caleb! What's up?" one of them called out.

"Hey Nigel. We're just watching paint dry" Matt responded sarcastically as he glared at Caleb who put his book down on the table.

Caleb corrected him. "**You're** watching paint dry. **I'm** working"

"They pay you to read _Harry Potter_?" the second boy asked.

"Theoretically, Eric, yes" he responded.

"Are you hiring?" he joked.

Nigel rolled his eyes and addressed Caleb and Matt.

"We were just heading to go paint-balling" Nigel explained. "We were looking for a third and fourth. You game?"

"Paint balling?" Caleb asked, confused.

Eric was surprised. "You've never gone paint balling?"

Caleb shook his head. Matt jumped at the opportunity to get out.

"C'mon, let's go, Caleb! We'll teach you!"

"Is this 'male bonding'?" he asked as he got up and took off his apron.

"Well, yeah, but no one's called it that since the nineteenth century" Eric laughed.

Caleb glared at Matt who shrugged his shoulders innocently. Caleb finished writing his note to Yan Lin and then the four guys took off.

"Thank goodness you guys showed up" Matt was saying, "I've been trying to get Caleb to get out with me for the past half hour"

Nigel and Eric all stopped walking and stared at him. Nigel raised an eyebrow and Caleb bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

Suddenly, it dawned on Matt what he had just said.

"Good grief! What is wrong with everyone today? **I'm not gay**!" he exclaimed.

It took Matt a moment to realize how loud he'd said that and that everyone on the sidewalk around them was suddenly staring at him. He turned beet red and pushed his cap over his eyes.

Caleb could no longer control himself and he burst out laughing, the other guys following suit. Matt glared at them and kept on walking at a quicker pace.

"Dude" Eric said as he, Nigel, and Caleb caught up to him, "in regards to your image, that's gonna hurt in the morning"

"Dude" Matt responded, mockingly, "in regards to your body, you're gonna hurt in the morning when I get my hands on that paintball gun"

Nigel nudged Matt with his shoulder. "We're just teasing Matt. No need to get hostile"

"I figure I better start now for the paintball fight" he commented his smile returning as they arrived at their destination.

Nigel got their guns and headed into the shooting area.

_

* * *

Half an Hour Later…_

Caleb walked triumphantly out of the shooting area with only two blue smudges of paint on his jeans. Nigel walked out with more blue and red smudges all over his body. Eric and Matt, on the other hand, emerged covered almost head to toe in orange paint.

"Next time, Caleb is totally on our team" Matt muttered to Eric.

Caleb laughed, "I need to do this more often!"

"No problem" Eric said. "But right now, I'm beat!"

"Yeah, and I've got to go bowling with my grandmother tonight so I should go too" Nigel groaned.

The other guys looked at him funny but only Matt spoke up with an implying smile. "You know, if you don't want to hang out with us you can just say so"

"I know" he sighed, pulling out his camera phone, "but I'm not joking. My grandma is a professional bowler and we practice on Saturdays". He showed them the picture of the white haired old lady winding up to roll a hot pink bowling ball. This was followed by another bout of laughter.

"K, then. See you!"

As Nigel and Eric walked off, Matt turned to Caleb, sighing. "Great so what do we do now?"

Caleb eyed the paintball guns still in their hands and shot the nearby alleyway and roguish smile.

* * *

Cedric hissed a Meridian curse as he and his defeated troupes back to the palace after receiving an ass whooping from the Guardians. He was already coming up with different excuses to tell Phobos why they'd lost the new shipment of food, when something smacked him upside the head. Hard.

The enormous snake whipped around surprisingly fast with a roar. His men jumped but he saw nothing else out of the ordinary but that. He whipped his hand to the back of his head and his hand came back orange.

"What the—?"

Suddenly, he was pelted in the chest with another splotch of paint and a nearby soldier what hit with another one at the same time. Suddenly, a barrage of different paints came from what appeared to be all sides. Chaos ensued as the soldiers began trying to defend themselves from the paintballs with their swords and shields. Cedric, being the huge moving target that he was, really had nowhere to hide and got hit by every paintball pelted at him.

"RUN!" a soldier cried out in panic.

Cedric would've loved to roar something at him if he wasn't already afraid to open his mouth and get paint in it. Instead, he hissed through gritted teeth and held his tail up to his face to defend it. "Get back here you cowards!"

His platoon was already running full speed to the palace and out of range of the paintballs. Then, as suddenly as it had started, the barrage stopped. Cedric put his tail down and swiftly searched the area now that he could see better only to find nothing. The four rebels had already slipped into the Infinite City.

"Yes!" Aldarn cried triumphantly holding his paintball gun up in the air, "I **love** this thing!"

"That was amazing!" Drake chimed, examining his own gun. "We could totally use some of these babies!"

"I wish" Caleb replied with a half-smile. "We have to return them"

"And buying just one is a lot of money" Matt informed them, "We're just insanely lucky that a portal opened so close to the store"

"Still…" Aldarn commented taking aim again and shooting a column perfectly in the center, "we could really kick some ass with this"

"I'm sure you could" said another voice. The boys looked down the infinite hallway where the Guardians were approaching.

"Going our way?" Irma asked, smiling.

"See you later, guys" Matt said as Drake and Aldarn reluctantly handed him and Caleb their guns and headed another way.

"Good grief, what happened to you, Matt?" Will asked seeing her boyfriend almost completely covered in paint.

"This one" he said pointing at Caleb, "went rebel warrior all over my ass before we both went all over Cedric's"

"About time someone did" Cornelia chimed. Caleb put his free arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "Hear, hear!"

Will laughed and gave Matt a kiss on the cheek. "So what else you do without us?"

"Meh, the usual" he responded.

"And what do you want to do now that we're here?" Will asked again as she opened a portal to Earth.

"Well we have to return the guns but then we could go to the mall or something" Caleb supplied. He smirked mischievously. "…since, you know, Matt's gay and everything…"

"I AM NOT GAY!"

* * *

That was really an excuse my friend gave me for not going to the movies with me. The next day, she sent me five different pictures of her and her grandma bowling. I was laughing so hard, my sides hurt. :) Hope you enjoyed. 


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